Beer butt chicken

I have a theory about how this recipe came about.

Some skanky chef ho probaby got tanked on beer in a sleazy bar, picked up a random dude and got laid hard in a one night stand. The next morning, she woke up with a blazing hangover and a really sore ass. She looked around and one-night-stand guy was gone. It was probably the best lay in her life, and she was devastated knowing that she'll never see (and screw) him again. And so, she created a dish to remember him for all eternity.

The alternative backstory is that some guy put together all his favourite things ever - beer, buttf*cking and chicken. I think this is the more probable of the two.

Here's what you need for a drunken anal taste delight (pardon the puns, I simply can't resist):

• One big fat juicy chicken
• 1/2 cup dry salt and spice rub (This is basically a combination of sea salt and spices. I like rosemary, chilli flakes, paprika, thyme, coriander and ground black pepper, but you can use any spices you prefer. If you can't be arsed, then use any store-bought marinade.)
• 1 tbsp dijon mustard
• 2 tbsp of honey
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 1 can of beer (Different types of beers give different flavours, so experiment. I personally like a dark wheat beer and Guinness as it gives a rich and deep flavour. Using Coke is also an alternative, but if you do, don't add honey and include a generous dash of bourbon.)
• 1 cup of garlic butter (Make this by mincing 3-4 garlic cloves and mixing into softened butter.)

Wash and clean the chicken. Slide a finger between the skin and the breast meat to make as large a pocket as possible, being careful not to tear the skin. Stuff in the garlic butter in the pocket, using your hands to squeeze the butter over as much of the breast meat as possible and even out the layer of butter. This helps keep the breast meat moist as the chicken cooks and gives it a killer garlic kick.

Rub the salt and spice mix liberally over and inside the chicken. Add the olive oil, honey, mustard and half a can of beer and massage that chicken good.

Let him soak in the tub for at least a couple of hours in the fridge, overnight if you have the time.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

Stuff the beer can with the remaining beer up his butt and stand it up on a roasting pan or dish. The trick is to make a "tripod" with the can and the two legs. You'll find that the law of physics will prevail and you'll have a surprising stable bird.

Roast at 160C for 1 hour 15 mins, making sure you rotate it every now and then so it gets an even tan. Use the leftover marinade to baste. In the last 15 minutes, crank up the temperature to 190C so the skin gets golden and crisp.

Remove from oven and let rest for 10 minutes. This helps to juices return back into the meat. In the meantime, get cracking on the gravy.

Remove can from butt and pour all the juices into a saucepan. Mix 1 tablespoon of cornstarch with as little water as possible to make a paste and add to roasting juices. Bring to a boil and the gravy will thicken. Chuck in a knob of butter for some gloss and you're ready to chow down.